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'Parents no longer care if children are obedient - it's an abdication of responsibility'

27 September 2023

With a study finding just 1 in 10 parents believe obedience is important, Secret Thinker says it's no wonder respect for adults has been largely lost.

‘I’ve become village’s public enemy number one – for burning some rubbish in my garden’

20 September 2023

Secret Thinker likes nothing more than a bonfire to get rid of garden rubbish, but his smokey hobby has turned him into his village’s most wanted man.

‘Why are we still questioning mums who breastfeed in public?’

06 September 2023

Secret Thinker was confused after witnessing an “outdated” request from a waitress that a woman stopped breastfeeding in a cafe.

‘Bank holidays are ill-conceived – they should be abolished’

30 August 2023

In his column this week, the Secret Thinker says bank holidays are taken advantage of by ‘shirkers’ and should be abolished.

‘First Brexit, then Covid, and now AI being used to excuse laziness and cock-ups’

23 August 2023

Secret Thinker questions if the robots are winning after a frustrating exchange with a seemingly powerless human call handler.

‘I was astonished to see a bobby on the beat – this should be the face of modern policing’

16 August 2023

The rare sight of a bobby on the beat wearing traditional headwear took Secret Thinker back to his youth, when police were a reassuring presence.

‘Roadworks are plaguing drivers across Kent – if only they were actually fixing the roads’

09 August 2023

It seems most of the county is jammed up with roadworks – which would be acceptable if they were actually fixing the roads, writes Secret Thinker.

‘Why is it so hard to speak to a human being? Covid is still being used as an excuse’

02 August 2023

Why is it so difficult to speak to a human being nowadays? Secret Thinker says automated systems put in place during Covid have a lot to answer for...

‘Sympathy for refuse workers is waning – my bin has been playing hokey cokey for weeks’

26 July 2023

As refuse workers continue to strike, an increasingly exasperated Secret Thinker resorts to dumping his rubbish in public bins to stop it piling up.

‘I ain’t afraid of no ghosts – but spooky encounter left me feeling truly haunted’

19 July 2023

A spooky encounter leaves a usually-cynical Secret Thinker fearing he has received an unsettling visit from the spirit world.

‘We’ll be fully cashless within a decade – but how will addicts buy drugs, or cheating spouses pay for hotels?’

12 July 2023

Secret Drinker considers the impact of our increasingly cashless society – from OAPs with money to burn, to anyone wanting to avoid a paper trail...

‘We need to get tough on litterbugs – I’d have culprits publicly lashed in the street’

05 July 2023

After witnessing a brazen act of littering, Secret Thinker says we need a stronger deterrent to stop selfish louts from dumping their waste.

‘NHS gets a bad rap, but credit where credit’s due, my treatment was first class’

28 June 2023

The NHS has had its fair share of bad press, but columnist Secret Thinker couldn’t fault the treatment he received for a recent foot injury.

‘I love boxing but I can’t make a case against it being banned'

21 June 2023

As a self-confessed boxing fan, Secret Thinker watches as many bouts as he can – but says he couldn’t argue if the brutal sport was banned.

‘Do we really need hot water warning signs? What happened to common sense?’

14 June 2023

Secret Thinker laments the loss of common sense and ponders the impact of our obsession with labels, allergies and sanitiser on the youth of today.

‘Has the world gone completely mad? Who’s buying colouring-in books for adults?’

07 June 2023

Secret Thinker is astounded to discover adult colouring-in books, and questions whether those who buy them have too much time on their hands.

‘Racist? No. But there is an element of discrimination within all of us’

31 May 2023

Secret Thinker finds himself questioning what we can do to address our biases after reacting in a certain way to a group of people.

‘Trip to the seaside left my hound as sick as a dog’

24 May 2023

After his pooch falls ill following a swim in the murky waters of the Kent coast, Secret Thinker counts himself lucky he didn’t take a dip himself.

‘Why can’t councils admit parking charges are all about the money’

18 May 2023

This week the Secret Thinker gets angry about traffic wardens and parking charges.

‘Will it start a revolution or end humanity?’

11 May 2023

After a surprise advert appeared on his phone, the Secret Thinker ponders the future of AI.

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