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Newly married Canterbury couple who met at Umbrella Centre open up about living with mental illness
00:01, 31 March 2019
updated: 09:04, 01 April 2019
When Lily McCarthy and Jaxx McLaughlin first met, they had been brought together by the pain of mental illness.
The young couple, aged 25 and 29, had sought help from Canterbury’s Umbrella Centre at a time when they both knew how it felt to not want to live.
Jaxx, who has a condition with elements of psychosis and mood symptoms of bipolar disorder known as schizoaffective disorder, had only recently been sectioned in a mental health unit. He spent his first few visits to the charity in an office room, unable to face socialising with others.
But last Tuesday the pair, who have since become each other’s lifeline, returned to the community centre for their wedding reception and celebrated one of the happiest days of their lives.
Lily, who was diagnosed as bipolar at the age of 16, says finding Jaxx has given her the rock she needs to manage her illness to the point she no longer relies on any medication.
“I found that if I ever have any problem, or any thoughts, I can confide in him,” the former Canterbury College student said.
“It’s changed everything about me and my perception of life, to the point where I want to live.
“I had difficulties with my family and was in and out of hospital and was then trying to find my way into the world.
“Now, I have met the love of my life. It’s not always easy, but if you have someone that understands and who loves you, that’s all you need.”
Likewise, Jaxx says he has “learnt so much” from Lily.
“The first thing I asked her was how she manages her mental health, because she always looks amazing, as if she has it altogether,” he said.
The couple, who live in Pine Tree Avenue and are expecting a baby, met in late 2017 when Jaxx approached Lily while she was sitting on a bench just outside the centre in St Peter’s Place and asked if he could join her.
"I thought it was so lovely for someone to talk to me when they didn’t even know me..." Jaxx McLaughlin
“I said yes, and he started speaking to me. I was very shy and I didn’t really know how to communicate with people that well,” Lily said.
“But I thought it was so lovely for someone to talk to me when they didn’t even know me, and I could see that he was going through something.”
The two quickly became close friends and within weeks were inseparable, spending nearly every day together.
After their friendship turned into romance, Jaxx, who is from Northern Ireland but moved to Canterbury in 2009 to study drama and multimedia at the University of Kent, proposed last January.
“It wasn’t extravagant. Lily loves to be driven around, so I put a ring in my pocket and we went to Eastry, which I knew was a beautiful village with a church,” he recalls.
“It was a beautiful day and then the church bells rang, so I got on my knee.”
A keen guitarist and songwriter who uses his music to share the impact mental health has had on his life, Jaxx then decided to propose a second time while playing a gig at Bramley’s.
The couple still regularly visit the Umbrella Centre, which offers a social space and support groups for people with mental health problems.
“This place has saved my life,” Jaxx, who says that before he heard about it his treatment “all seemed to be more medication, more medication, but no therapy,” continues.
“I’m so happy it’s unbelievable. I can’t stop looking at Lily, and smiling,”
For more information or to donate, visit www.canterburyumbrella.co.uk.
