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Tributes paid to Aylesham mum Jade Deary, 32, who took her own life
05:00, 15 January 2023
updated: 09:29, 16 January 2023
The parents of a young mother who tragically took her own life have paid tribute to their "generous and kind" daughter who had "a heart of gold".
Mum-of-three Jade Deary, 32, was found dead at her home in Aylesham near Canterbury on September 30.
Her 12-year-old daughter made the devastating discovery when she went to wake her mother up just after 8am and found she could not be roused.
Jade’s father arrived soon after, having received a distressing phone call from his granddaughter, who told him: “I can’t wake mummy up”.
Her grief-stricken family describe Jade as “generous and kind-hearted”, but say her long-standing struggle with depression had worsened following the breakdown of a "difficult" romantic relationship.
Her father, John Deary, said: “Jade had a heart of gold and would often put other people before herself.
“She had a contagious laugh and was well-known amongst her friends for her sense of humour. She was very much loved by her family and friends.
“We spent a lot of time with our daughter over the last five years due to her ongoing domestic difficulties and as such we were very, very close.
“We shall love and miss her forever. All we can do for Jade now is to help raise her children and give them the love they deserve.
“Jade was always a very generous person. If you didn’t have something which she did she would always offer it to you. Her friends loved her and she had such good friends.
“Even at her funeral, three of her friends walked all the way from our house to the church in front of the coffin. They all chipped in and bought three white doves for her as well. Everyone loved her."
An inquest at County Hall in Maidstone heard that despite Jade having a history of mental health issues, her death came as a shock to loved ones as she had already bought Christmas presents for her girls and had planned to meet her mum for tea the following day.
Her cause of death was given as asphyxiation and medication overdose, with coroner Sarah Clarke ruling it a suicide.
At the time of her death she was living with her three daughters, but in 2017, the children were removed from her care for a period due to her mental health issues.
During this time, Jade was arrested following an altercation.
Her mum, Debbie O'Nions, said: “When she was arrested it wasn’t locking up she needed, it was help. It’s very hard to get mental health help for adults.”
Jade’s parents believe the trauma of this incident was a contributing factor to her untimely death.
Before recording her conclusion of suicide, coroner Ms Clarke addressed Jade's parents.
“Jade had a big support network but she was having internal difficulties," she said.
"There were things going on in her mind that were very challenging.”
The inquest also heard that the 32-year-old was struggling financially, and on the night of her death, she stayed up late using an online casino.
Her mother says she was hoping for a big win to put her financial issues behind her.
“She was so generous and kind-hearted, anything she would have won would have been spent on the girls," Debbie added
"Jade had a big support network but she was having internal difficulties..."
“My daughter was a good person. She wasn’t a bad person at all. To us there are still a lot of unanswered questions, whys, buts and hows.
“Jade loved singing, she absolutely loved singing. All her friends said they would always catch her singing to herself.
"Her favourite karaoke song was Total Eclipse of the Heart so we had to have that at the funeral.”
Along with her parents, Jade leaves behind “three beautiful girls” aged six, nine and 12.
Born in Canterbury, Jade first studied tourism before choosing to pursue hairdressing.
A GoFundMe page has been set up to support Jade’s family, particularly her daughters, at this difficult time.
The page has already raised more than £1,700, surpassing its £1,000 goal.
More than 50 people wrote messages of condolence on Jade’s social media pages, with one friend, Hannah Coates - also from Canterbury - writing: “I should be preparing my speech for your wedding, not your funeral.
"I am so sad, Jade. I love you with my whole heart.”
For confidential support on an emotional issue, call Samaritans any time on 116 123.
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