Find local news in Kent

Home   Folkestone   News   Article

TikToker Charlie Hayes from Folkestone vows not to change eccentric school run outfits despite abuse

05:00, 02 February 2023

updated: 17:21, 03 February 2023

A defiant mum has vowed not to change her eccentric style - despite being called "disgusting" by strangers on the school run.

Charlie Hayes, from Cheriton in Folkestone, who has a four-year-old son called Jasper, has amassed more than 100,000 followers on TikTok, where she shows off her colourful, alternative outfits.

But the 22-year-old has faced backlash for her edgy choice of clothes, with commenters claiming they are "inappropriate" and "too revealing", while some even accuse her of being a bad mum.

A recent ensemble led one TikTok user to say: "Is it normal to flash your a*** at other parents and kids?"

Another said: "That skirt is far too short for the school run".

The same outfit - a black top and tights with boots and a purple mini-skirt - prompted a motorist driving past to shout "you look disgusting" at the influencer.

However, Charlie says: "People think I'm a bad mum because I don't fit the mould of a typical mum.

Charlie Hayes and her son Jasper are from Folkestone but previously lived in Canterbury. Picture: Barry Goodwin
Charlie Hayes and her son Jasper are from Folkestone but previously lived in Canterbury. Picture: Barry Goodwin
This black and purple outfit worn on Monday upset some users on TikTok. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
This black and purple outfit worn on Monday upset some users on TikTok. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

"But the more people tell me to tone it down the more I go against it. I like winding people up with the way I look."

Charlie, who moved to the town from Canterbury three months ago, won't let the critics change the way she dresses, which she describes as "camp" or "theatrical".

"It’s crazy to me that the clothes I wear can make people so angry they go online and say the vilest thing they can think of," she says.

"Like, go to therapy, man! Why are you that invested in what someone’s wearing?"

Jasper has waist-length blonde hair, a style Charlie says he chooses himself. However, he too has faced the ire of social media trolls.

Charlie Hayes and her son Jasper usually get the bus to school. Picture: Barry Goodwin
Charlie Hayes and her son Jasper usually get the bus to school. Picture: Barry Goodwin

"The most horrific comments I get online are directed towards Jasper and his hair," says Charlie.

"I’ve been accused of abuse, neglect, attention seeking and pushing him to be gay and trans.

"People seriously are insane. He’s just a boy with long hair.

"I am a bit like a hippy. I let him play with whatever toys he wants and don't make him adhere to gender norms.

"But he’s always gravitated towards more boy stuff anyway. He loves cars and Spiderman and Marvel.

Online, people have criticised the mum for letting four-year-old Jasper have long hair. Picture: Barry Goodwin
Online, people have criticised the mum for letting four-year-old Jasper have long hair. Picture: Barry Goodwin

"He just likes his long hair – he thinks it’s cool and that’s it.

"It's his choice and always will be. If he comes home from school and wants it cut then that’s what we will do."

It's not just online that Charlie and Jasper have received abuse.

The four-year-old's hair incited one woman to scream at the mum in a Burger King.

"A lady came up to us and said 'she’s really cute'," Charlie recalls.

"I said 'oh, he’s a boy', and she started shouting at me, asking what genitalia he had.

Charlie Hayes walks her son Jasper to school in Folkestone in eccentric outfits. Picture: Barry Goodwin
Charlie Hayes walks her son Jasper to school in Folkestone in eccentric outfits. Picture: Barry Goodwin

"No one stepped in, which upset me because she was shouting in my face in front of Jasper.

"She also said ‘you are going to confuse it’, referring to him.

"Poor Jasper was just trying to eat his ice cream."

Charlie says she worries about Jasper being bullied for his locks. But so far he hasn't faced any mean comments from fellow pupils.

Despite the hate, she "does [her] best to let him express himself", yet tries to push him towards "normal kids' stuff" to protect him.

This union jack inspired look was another worn on the school run. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
This union jack inspired look was another worn on the school run. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

"He keeps insisting he wants the underneath of his hair dyed rainbow. I've suggested blue or red, but he won't have it."

Charlie moved from Ireland to Canterbury as a teenager and expected it to be a liberal place to live due to its large student population.

However, she found the opposite to be true, describing the city as "one extreme or the other" in terms of people's reaction to her looks.

"Canterbury was hit or miss. I either had people being really nice or really mean to me," she says.

"People are a lot friendlier in Folkestone - it's really cool down here."

The 22-year-old from Folkestone has recieved abuse due to her looks and her son's long hair. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
The 22-year-old from Folkestone has recieved abuse due to her looks and her son's long hair. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

While her outifts make some mums and dads do a double-take on the school run, Charlie says the parents and staff at Jasper's school have been nothing but nice to her.

"All of the staff at school and nursery have no prejudice towards me for the way I look or for being young or anything," she says.

"The other mums are nice too. Most of the negative reaction I get is on the internet – I think that’s where people feel safe to be nasty."

On TikTok, critics have said: "Where's the school? The red light district?"

"School or strip club?" has also been asked, and "poor kid!" is a common reaction.

This green get-up caused a stir on social media. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
This green get-up caused a stir on social media. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

Surprisingly, it seems most of the hate comes from women, and often other mums.

"If it’s a man it’s easier to brush off the hate," Charlie says. "The majority of men online are just annoyed that I’m not a standard baby-making machine.

"It’s so upsetting when it’s from other mums, especially tattooed or alternative mums. I expect it from men, but not women."

Charlie buys most of her clothes from charity shops and within her extensive wardrobe the young mum has some particularly controversial pieces. This includes a maxi dress picturing ashtrays full of cigarette butts.

"People got really angry about my ashtray dress because they said I was promoting smoking to kids," she says.

A dress showing ashtrays full of cigarette butts led to frenzy online. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
A dress showing ashtrays full of cigarette butts led to frenzy online. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

"I have one top that has an AK47 on it and says ‘make peace not war’, and people got really upset about that because I was wearing a gun on the school run.

"I think people who are already uncomfortable with the way I look just wait for a reason to justify being uncomfortable with it.

"So, they can say ‘look there’s a practical reason you can’t do that’.

"I don’t think any of it is valid criticism."

Jasper's primary school has not complained about Charlie's daring look. However, she insists if it was to say an outfit was inappropriate, she wouldn't mind and would not wear it again.

One outfit which shows an AK47 did not go down well online. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
One outfit which shows an AK47 did not go down well online. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

Charlie believes the source of the hate is the expectation for women to "fit into a box of the typical mum" after having children.

"I think as a young mum you're expected even more to prove yourself and be modest, quiet and follow the rules. I don’t feel I need to prove myself to anybody.

"I’m a good mum and Jasper is an amazing kid, so I don’t really care to fit a mould of what’s expected of mums.

"I think its absurd that after you pop a kid out - one of the hardest things you could do - then is the time to be docile and settle down."

Charlie - who runs her own business upcycling and selling clothes - regularly gets recognised due to her internet fame.

Charlie Hayes has found Folkestone to be more accepting of her alternative style than Canterbury. Picture: Barry Goodwin
Charlie Hayes has found Folkestone to be more accepting of her alternative style than Canterbury. Picture: Barry Goodwin

One question fans have for the influencer is how long it takes her to get ready before school every morning, with some adding they struggle to get out of pyjamas before 8.45am.

"It only takes me about 20 minutes to do my make-up and 45-to-an-hour in total to get ready in the morning.

"I plan my outfits the night before. I get so excited about what I'm going to wear each day that it motivates me to get up and do something."

In stark contrast to her own personality, Charlie's partner Sam is a tracksuit-wearing labourer.

"Sam is not alternative at all," she says.

Charlie Hayes' alternative style on the school run turns heads. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes
Charlie Hayes' alternative style on the school run turns heads. Picture: strawberrymonoxide/Charlie Hayes

"He usually wears tracksuits and works a labouring job.

"If you met him you would have no idea his girlfriend looked like this."

While other children tell Charlie "they love [her] clothes", she worries that as her son gets older, he will be on the receiving end of abuse due to her style.

However, she feels "having embarrassing parents growing up is sort of a rite of passage".

"People are much more accepting nowadays and will continue to get more accepting, so I don’t think the way I dress will be so controversial as he approaches his teens," she says.

"Anyway, maybe I won't still dress like this then - but I highly doubt that."

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies - Learn More