Murders of Gordon Semple and Daniel Whitworth put the spotlight on the gay dating app Grindr and the 'dark underworld' of the dating scene
00:00, 24 November 2016
updated: 14:16, 24 November 2016
With two million users, Grindr has become the go-to app for like-minded gay men to meet up and while many users enjoy it simply as a dating service, it seems that some are entering a dangerous world of drugs and risky sex.
Figures show crime relating to the online app has increased 10-fold over the past three years in Kent – with reported offences including blackmail, sex attacks, harassment and attempted murder.
In two recent cases, Gordon Semple, 59, of Greenhithe, and Daniel Whitworth, 21, from Gravesend, had travelled into London for separate sex encounters when they met their end. Both their killers were convicted of murder, and what is indisputable is that Grindr was a factor in both cases.
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While the numbers are low in Kent, increasing from one crime in 2013, to two in 2014 and then jumping to 10 last year, the problem is growing and gay and bisexual men are more frequently making contact via dating apps.
Many of those using the app that we interviewed admit to being already married, have been caught out looking for under-age boys, or are on the hunt for dangerous types of sex.
The latest trend is “chem-sex” parties. The drug-fuelled orgies usually last for days, with top-ups of drugs, and swapping of partners.
While they have been a fixture for a while, their popularity has boomed with apps making it much easier to spread the word in what has been described as a “dodgy underworld”.
The cocktail of drugs usually includes crystal methamphetamine, mephedrone, cocaine, ketamine and others.
A British documentary film released last year, called Chem-sex, depicts “the dark side to modern gay life. Traversing an underworld of intravenous drug use and weekend-long sex parties”.
Grindr advertises as the number one gay social network app, with more than 2 million daily active users across 192 countries.
While the app clearly states on its own website that it “does not condone the abuse of drugs”, it is repeatedly the app which crops up in violent cases, like those of Mr Semple, and Mr Whitworth.
There have been other Grindr-related crimes recently too:
- Crowborough teenager Ben Bamford with drug debts was this month found guilty of killing top civil servant Paul Jefferies during a frenzied knife attack after the pair met for sex on Grindr in 2014.
- Last year drug addict Shane Dunn from Tunbridge Wells was convicted of wounding with intent when he met up with training manager Ian Garrod after talking on Grindr. During a sex session Dunn took a kitchen knife and slashed Mr Garrod’s throat.
- Despite the age restriction of 18, former Medway teacher Gary Pearce was jailed in 2014 after grooming a boy he met via Grindr. He was convicted of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy.
- In December, Leigh Gibbons, 33, of Seasalter Close, Warden Bay, was handed a community order after naked images of a 15-year-old boy he had met on Grindr were found on his phone.
According to the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) Foundation, recent research suggests that gay and bi men are more likely than straight to use a condom.
But they are also more likely to use drugs, and to engage in chem-sex. When people are under the influence of drugs, then they become less likely to use protection, and more vulnerable to rape.
Last year the British Medical Journal warned that London’s chem-sex parties are causing HIV rates to soar.
Jessica White, who co-ordinates the community safety programme at LGBT, said: “Pick up and dating apps like Grindr are inherently more dangerous than any other way in which to meet a stranger, and we would encourage people to be aware of the risks and take precautions.
“Always let somebody know where you’re going, and leave any valuable items you can at home.
“We do not condone the use of illegal drugs during sex, known as chem-sex, but if people are using them, ensure they keep a record of what they are taking.
"There are some really shady people on there… it’s dangerous... I’m amazed I don’t know anyone who’s died." - One user's account
“Often men will use disinhibition drugs on others, which makes them vulnerable.
“We don’t wish to scaremonger and most people use these site positively. But people do use these websites for dangerous reasons.
“It’s definitely concerning that people want to do these things.
“We get quite a few calls from people using the apps who want to talk about safety with us.”
People considering a meet-up from the app, or who have any concerns, can call the society’s confidential help line on 0345 330 3030.
Grindr says it is a “strong advocate for STD education and regular testing” and is against discrimination, prostitution and unsafe sex - but one user says that’s not the reality.
Jason, 27, a University of Kent graduate, has used the app, and been to chem-sex parties. But he is off it now, after needing HIV tests, seeing people have violent drug-induced fits and hearing about robberies and rapes among his friends.
He said: “Chem-sex is happening all the time, everywhere. In central London, you can probably find it going on somewhere within a few hundred metres.
"Chem-sex is happening all the time, everywhere. I’ve seen some messed-up things. People passing out during sex, having fits, convulsing on the floor. I know of people who have been raped, and have HIV" - Jason
“It’s dangerous and I’ve seen some messed-up things. People passing out during sex, having fits, convulsing on the floor.
“I know of people who have been raped, and have HIV now.
“Barebacking (sex without using a condom) is becoming more popular again, more normalised, because everyone seems to be doing it. I’ve had to take emergency drugs to prevent HIV about five times now.
“You just don’t know who you’re meeting a lot of the time. I know people who have been robbed, and I’m amazed I don’t know anyone who’s died.
“People don’t go on Grindr to find the love of their life, it’s about no strings-attached sex.
“There are some really shady people on there. People say what they wouldn’t in real life, that you’re fat and ugly, or will write things like ‘no Asians’ on their profile. I’ve seen people using it for prostitution too.
“But it seems to be the norm, and nobody reports it. You go on the app expecting that. It’s a really dodgy underworld.
“You have a drink, go on Grindr and end up at one of these parties, every time. It seems like a good idea at the time, the drugs are fun, you lose your inhibitions, it makes the sex great. You start off on softer cheap drugs ... then crystal meths is being pushed to you.
“People don’t know when to stop and it spirals out of control. I woke up not really knowing what I’d done and thinking, ‘I’m not this trashy person’.
Jason has now deleted the app from his phone, and even got a friend to put a security password on his phone only she knows so he can’t reinstall it when drunk. But drugs do take their toll, and Jason was devastated to see former partners, once handsome and strong, reduced to skeletons, and having lost their jobs.
He added: “Chem-sex and Grindr are certainly a massive problem, and it is getting worse.
“There are support groups, but you need to want to give up and most of these people have issues which the drugs alleviate for a while.
“There are so many more dating apps which are better, with more genuine people. Grindr isn’t evil though, it’s the people.
“I’m sure people would find ways to still do this without Grindr, some other social media would just take its place. But it certainly facilitates this kind of behaviour. I’ve not had anyone ever come up to me in a bar and offer a night of chem-sex.”
One Grindr user from Kent says he has not had any problems with it.
He said: “Sometimes I would hook up with people after a short chat and sometimes I’d chat for weeks but never meet. Usually it was a date. So you’d go to a pub or a bar, sometimes it was sexual, sometimes friendly, sometimes awkward.
"A few times a connection would go on for months and you’d be dating. I never got a long- term relationship out of it but I know people who did.
“All sorts of people are on it, loads of people. Most gay guys I know have tried it. A lot of it is guys under 30. Some are shy and some are a bit full of themselves. Some people are blunt and rude but most are polite. Some are looking for sex, some for something deeper and others don’t know what they’re looking for. Other people don’t show their faces or say they’re married.
“I thought it was similar to meeting someone in a bar. In fact a lot of the time you’d know a lot more about someone off Grindr than in a bar because you can chat much better without loud music! The difference is you don’t get someone’s mannerisms and any click/connection until you meet them in person.
“I never felt nervous or threatened in any way. To me it was just ordinary people using an app. That’s why this case is so shocking because you realise it could have been you, but also because it’s so different to how most people use Grindr. It’s taken for granted you wouldn’t hurt each other. Just like real life, because it is real life.”