Nathan Ashmore: Ebbsfleet United goalkeeper tells how terrace abuse has affected him
00:00, 12 December 2018
updated: 07:25, 12 December 2018
Nathan Ashmore has revealed how abuse from the terraces made him consider walking off the pitch during a game.
The Ebbsfleet goalkeeper has been subjected to vile chants from opposition supporters at several matches this season.
Ashmore has dealt with stick throughout his career but the abuse has become more personal recently.
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Racism in football has been discussed in the national press after Raheem Sterling suffered abuse when City took on Chelsea last weekend.
Ashmore has been targeted by fans for many months.
He revelled in the hostile play-off atmosphere at Tranmere back in May but a line has been crossed this season.
Ashmore said: "It’s been hard this year, harder than ever.
"It’s very personal - I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Some of the stuff I get called is sickening.
"There’s only so many things you can take and it’s pushed me to the edge this season.
"At one game this season, I did fall out of love with the game and I did not want to play at all.
"I actually wanted to walk off the pitch because the abuse I was getting wasn’t nice at all. That’s how I felt. I’m a very passionate and honest guy but that really did hurt me deeply."
Ashmore was in court last month to see the Eastleigh fan who racially abused him banned from his club and fined by magistrates.
But the following day he was abused again at Boreham Wood and jumped into the home end after the full-time whistle.
He said: "I reacted for the first time in my career. I’m not one to let it affect me but this time it did.
"I’m not too sure why. It could be a combination of everything, the court case which was happening that week as well.
"It’s tough but I have to accept that’s what’s going to happen now.
"I expect it nine times out of 10. I know that for a fact. I go into a game knowing ‘I’m going to get abuse today’ and I just have to block it out."
But the abuse isn't confined to football grounds.
Ashmore said: "It’s affected me at home more than anything.
"When you come into training, you forget it because you’re around the lads and you’re there to work but when you have your down time, that’s when you think about it more and that’s when the personal attacks get even worse because they can reach you on social media.
"Some of the stuff I’ve been called really did affect me personally. I’ve not been right at home. I had a few weeks when I didn’t sleep.
"I have thought about coming off Twitter. Those two weeks were so tough and I was very close to getting rid of everything on social media.
"But on the other side of it, why should I let that stop me doing something I want to do and how I want to run my life?
"The only way to get past this is by making people aware of it.
"If these people are caught and you punish them heavily, it might make others think twice about doing or saying anything again."
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