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Deciding to see a family solicitor is a very significant decision. It, and the reasons for it, mark one of the major decisions in your life.

If you are thinking about seeing a family solicitor for advice about the breakdown of your marriage, relationship or indeed arrangements for your children, this useful advice should help.

Choosing a family solicitor

The relationship that you have with your solicitor is an important one. You need to have confidence in what they are doing and you need to feel that they are someone that you can work with.

If you go into your initial meeting with a solicitor equipped with facts and figures, they should be able to give you a general indication of a likely outcome. Be quite wary of solicitors who refuse to give advice when presented with facts, figures and circumstances.

Similarly, be cautious if they appear reluctant to give specifically tailored advice on your situation and the process. You are paying for legal advice, not an administrator.

If you are not feeling comfortable, take a second opinion, however, be very wary of continuing to take opinions until you get the advice you want to hear. If you have spoken to three solicitors and they have all said roughly the same thing, but the fourth says what you wanted to hear, the chances are that it is the last one that is wrong.

Before meeting with a family solicitor

Try to think objectively about whether you are in a proper frame of mind to seek and digest advice. Consider whether you need any outside support in the form of counselling or therapy. Reflect on whether you are in a position to make considered decisions or whether you feel inclined towards knee-jerk responses. There can be a lot to take in at this initial meeting, so it might be helpful to have a friend or family member with you.

If you do not want your spouse or partner to find out that you have been to see a solicitor keep the appointment details secret and unwritten.

Have your details to hand and complete any forms that are sent to you prior to the meeting. This will provide context and will save time at the meeting.

Before the meeting, put together a list of your principal concerns and the areas in which you need advice or reassurance. Write down a list of questions and bring them to the meeting. At the end of the meeting make sure that they have been properly answered.

Think about the psychology of your situation. Do you think that your spouse or partner will welcome talking about matters in an amicable fashion? Do you trust them financially? Is there a high level of anger or bitterness? What are their motivating factors likely to be? These, and other considerations, will very much feed into the advice that you receive.

Finally, do not think that instructing a solicitor is a runaway train. You can change your mind, reconcile and/or progress matters entirely at your own pace.

For family law matters, Warners Solicitors offer an initial meeting at a significantly reduced rate. This can then be claimed back against our fees should you go to instruct us to act for you.

The contents of this article are for the purposes of general awareness only. They do not purport to constitute legal or professional advice. The law may have changed since this article was published.

To find out more contact Warners Solicitors on 01732 747900 or visit www.warners-solicitors.co.uk.

Family law solicitor Matthew Aves, Head of Family Law at Warners Solicitors