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Eat My Words food review of Tipis Restaurant at The Gardens, Yalding, the Instagram-perfect feast in winter wonderland

05:00, 05 January 2023

updated: 08:21, 05 January 2023

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Any trepidation about dining in a tipi at the height of a freezing winter was short lived as we were guided to a table next to an indoor fire pit.

Like my temperature concerns, it had sadly been extinguished, but the man wearing the white crew neck with 'Asda Smart Price Christmas Jumper' written across the front informed us it would be relit but had to cool down first.

The inside of Tipis
The inside of Tipis

Once it was back on the dining experience at Tipis Restaurant was similar, I imagine, to eating on the slopes of an active volcano.

But that only added to the ambience.

The designer of this pop-up eatery at Yalding's The Gardens wedding venue had presumably been given a one-word brief: cosy.

Everything was warm and wooden and covered in rugs and fairy lights.

As hinted at earlier we made the trip into the countryside just before Christmas for a now annual home office party.

The inside of Tipis
The inside of Tipis

It's likely the man in the festive jumper will be wearing something different and the illuminated reindeer sculptures standing sentry at the entrance will have returned to their stable by the time you decide to try out Tipis.

But you better do so quickly as from mid March the whole restaurant will be put into hibernation until next winter.

Set in 12 acres of gardens, the Tipis says its ethos is simple, 'to bring the outstanding natural beauty of the venue to your plate', and in order to do that almost everything on the menu is locally produced and seasonal.

It's the best way to eat, really, and while it pushes the price up the quality follows.

From the Crouch Butchers beef in my pie to the Toffee Orchard liqueur served up after our meal and available to buy at Maidstone Distillery the standard across the board was high.

We'd opted to eat at an earlier-than-usual time via Tipis user-friendly online booking system and by happy coincidence were seated next to some friends.

Other than our two tables for the first half of our meal the restaurant was empty.

Maybe it was this but the staff were incredibly attentive from the get go, always on hand to offer advice but not to an imposing extent.

In expert upselling worthy of Derren Brown we'd ordered a damson gin mojito (£9) and a blackcurrant mule mocktail (£4.50) almost without realising.

When done properly upselling complements a meal. Sure, we might not have needed the £5 olive loaf but by damn I wish we'd said yes, although with the quantity of food that would soon arrive it's probably lucky we didn't.

Beside the warm glow of the fire pit we hunched over the satisfyingly compact menu and picked our path to winter food heaven.

A blackcurrant mule mocktail
A blackcurrant mule mocktail

You can say a lot about a place by the quality of its pie and with that in mind I didn't hesitate in opting for the Bethersden steak and ale (£18) with Kentish blue cheese mousse (£8) to start.

My vegetarian tasting partner opted for the too-healthy-sounding ruby chard, grains, pickled carrot, roasted beetroot and pomegranate dressing starter (£6) and pumpkin tortellini (£15).

After some back and forth over whether to buy a bottle of red or go for a glass we settled on the latter and ordered a small Las Olas Malbec from Argentina (£6.15) and a large Chilean La Camarcas Merlot (£7.40).

I'm aware both of these break the local rule by some distance but there was a very enticing limited edition red from Meopham Wines available at £30 a bottle, which from my somewhat foggy memories of wine lists is not unreasonable.

The food arrived quick as a flash, but not disconcertingly so à la Wetherspoon where a burger's rustled up in less time than a standard microwave cycle.

It was presented beautifully and coupled with the picture-perfect surroundings made this an Instagrammable winter feast.

It's little surprise, then, that Tipis has garnered national interest from The Telegraph and 'urban guide to the countryside' Muddy Stilettos.

Ruby chard, grains, pickled carrot, roasted beetroot and pomegranate dressing starter
Ruby chard, grains, pickled carrot, roasted beetroot and pomegranate dressing starter
A Kentish blue cheese mousse starter
A Kentish blue cheese mousse starter

The blue cheese mousse with walnuts, pear chutney and sourdough croutons was a delight.

It was light and the blue cheese not overpowering while the chutney was the ideal partner.

It could have got away with being maybe half the size with the addition of a small side salad. I'm also not sure if chefs are legally bound to make all croutons from sourdough now but I remain advocate for the more humble breads.

These are exceedingly minor complaints about an great starter.

I had two forks of the ruby chard thing and was impressed and then less so but the feedback from the person who actually ordered it was far more glowing.

Steak and ale pie with buttered mash and steamed greens
Steak and ale pie with buttered mash and steamed greens
Pumpkin tortellini
Pumpkin tortellini

I'm aware I was dismissive of the vegetarian starter so will go into more detail about the pumpkin tortellini.

The pasta was expertly cooked, crisp and light but beautifully seasoned.

I'd usually be very happy with packed tortellini but for me there was perhaps too much pumpkin filling, making the dish quite rich and heavy.

Pies are a different matter. More is more.

This example was near faultness, from the big chunky ceramic dish the pie came in to the tenderness and flavour of the steak and sweetness of the assorted vegetables.

The mash was a knock out and the pastry, while a tad salty, hit the spot too.

One unhappy looking yet internally completely content pie-eating reviewer
One unhappy looking yet internally completely content pie-eating reviewer

An impromptu addition of a side plate of chips went down a storm with my accomplice but I was less enamoured and found them a little anemic.

Given the general vibe of the restaurant my humble opinion is that smaller portions would have worked better and allowed space for any one of a mouth-watering list of desserts, which our neighbours told us were very nice indeed.

One last minor quibble: Call me a tight wad if you like but I'd usually go for tap water and we made an error in ordering bottled.

Nice it may have been but I can't be persuaded that a bottle of water is worth £4.60. That's a hill I will die on, perhaps beside a little spring which I can tap into and market in the afterlife.

But that aside eating out is an experience not just defined by portion side or even necessarily quality of food - although overall that was very good - but by a whole array of things.

The staff, atmosphere and presentation on show at Tipis made it an excellent festive meal.

Ratings out of five:

Food: Less is more (mostly). The food was cooked perfectly and well flavoured but perhaps could have been more delicate. It's a nice problem to have, though ****

Staff: Excellent. Attentive but not imposing. Very friendly and happy to chat *****

Drink: The wine was OK but nothing to write home about and I wish we'd kept it local for this, too. The mojito can be summed up in the same way but the mocktail was very nice and the toffee liqueur, which someone handed me a glass of at a later date, comes highly recommended ***

Decor: Cosy. The perfect interior for a warming winter meal and as un-tipi-like as a tipi can be ****

Price: Pretty dear but given we had drinks after and the actual cost of each main was certainly decent nothing too shocking ****

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