A damning report from Ofsted recently found that too many children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) do not get the support they need in Kent.

Here, Natasha Harding, from West Malling, whose five-year-old daughter Lexi is autistic, reveals the huge implications that the lack of support has had on her family...

Natasha had her suspicions that something was amiss from the moment that Lexi was born.

She explains: “Lexi was a fussy baby who screamed constantly. Everything seemed to irritate her; the sun shining in her eyes, lying in her cot, being held, not being held, music, silence.

“By the time she was one she wasn’t babbling and at 18 months she had just two words.”

Preschool was a disaster for the little one. She found being with other children intolerable and didn’t know how to play and got anxious when spoken to and would lash out or shut down.

It meant that staff would only allow her to stay if Natasha paid for her to have one-to-one support - at a cost of £90 a week - on top of the standard preschool fees, which Natasha did for a year.

And things didn’t improve with time.

Natasha says: “By two and a half, Lexi’s behaviour was even worse and she was barely speaking and preschool were convinced she was autistic.”

In the end Natasha paid privately to get Lexi assessed as the waiting times on the NHS were up to three years.

“I could weep when I think how much we’ve had to shell out, I have to believe I’ve done the right thing by prioritising her...” Natasha Harding

It meant that both Natasha and her husband Paul, who is a sales director, had to change their working hours to fit in caring for Lexi. The cost was more than £4,000, including assessments and reports from a paediatrician, educational psychologist, occupational therapist and speech and language therapist.

Natasha continues: “Everybody involved in Lexi’s care agreed she needed speech and language therapy as well as occupational therapy every week.

“However, neither were covered by the NHS although I was sent on a three hour occupational therapy workshop specifically for parents.

“After hours of research I found a private speech and language therapist to work with Lexi each week for two years - at a cost of £90 a time.

“Lexi still has weekly occupational therapy to help with her poor gross and fine motor skills which is £320 a month.”

Additionally, Lexi needed to be taught how to play and had 10 sessions with a play therapist - at a cost of £400.

Lexi started reception in September and attends a mainstream school, which she loves, with a specialist resource provision for autistic children.

But child care costs add-up for the working parents.

Natasha reveals: “The lack of support has made life so much harder as well as crippling us financially.

“We used to have savings, but now there isn’t anything left in the pot and every spare penny goes towards Lexi.

“When you have a child with a disability, Every day is challenging, and adding in financial worries has almost broken us.”

However, the investment has been worth it, Lexi is doing well and Natasha says they have come a long way.

She said: “With help, my daughter is slowly making friends and managing to cope with life.

“I could weep when I think how much we’ve had to shell out, I have to believe I’ve done the right thing by prioritising her.”

For support, advice, events and all things to do with parenting in Kent, visit My Kent Family here.