MY knowledge of the United Nations on Human Rights is a little sketchy and I’m not too well versed on the chapter governing man’s inalienable right to drive petrol-powered vehicles, the "Clarkson Clause" as it is known to freedom fighters around the globe.

But more specifically, I’m foggy on the sub-section that concerns traffic between Dartford, Swanscombe and Northfleet on Sunday mornings in July.

Last week apocalyptic warnings were issued that people in the Dartford area faced being "stuck in their homes" on the morning of Sunday July 8.

Don’t people in Dartford have legs? Had the Met Office predicted severe flooding? Was a terrorist attack or gas explosion iminent?

Or was it, in fact, just the arrival of a rather large bike race, its entourage and several thousand spectators?

When the Tour de France races through the county in July, roads will indeed be closed for a while, but this is the fairly small price demanded for the honour of staging the world’s largest annual sporting event and giving Kent a rare moment in the global spotlight.

It’s obvious that some people are going to be genuinely disadvantaged, but it is only for a few hours and to claim that you’re "stuck at home" just because a bike race has closed the roads is to deploy a logic as lazy as John Prescott, when he was chauffeured 200 yards down Bournemouth sea front because he didn’t want to ruin his wife’s hair - if only his gallantry had extended to certain other areas he really would have known how to spoil her.

You can still catch trains, ride bikes and controversially, you can even go for a walk. There are doubtless plenty of Clarksonistas who’d prefer to see the peloton ride head on into the traffic and the sight of 200 cyclists jockeying for position with the Sunday drivers on the A226 might be interesting in a macabre way, but last year’s Tour of Britain fiasco demonstrated the need for adequate road closures.

Quite apart from the embarrassment caused by the riders going off course, a number of vehicles strayed on to the route and casualties were avoided as much by luck as by judgement.

The Tour’s visit also means that, for one day only, the motor vehicle has to play second fiddle to other forms of transport.

In one of the town’s affected, Maidstone, this will indeed be a welcome novelty. Cycle lanes in the County Town are of variable quality. They vary from the dicey - the crossing at the 20/20 roundabout is particularly interesting for thrillseekers - to the non-existant.

If you want to ride from the Tonbridge Road area to the other side of town you either have to veer between up to four lanes of traffic, or risk ploughing into pedestrians and breaking the lay by using the pavements.

The town seems to be the only place in Britain where a by-law states that all motorists are obliged to drive round the one-way system with a mobile phone glued to an ear. Indicating is forbidden and anyone who sticks between the white lines on the old bridge gets three points on their licence.

The police could make a small fortune just by fining the lunatics who use Bishop’s Way as an IndyCar circuit and the proceeds could go towards putting in some proper cycle lanes, ones kids could use without their parents suffering palpitations.

Will the Tour de France change anything? Probably not. But if you’re a motorist stuck in your own driveway somewhere near Brenchley and you have my sympathy. However, if you’re having a whine because you can’t drive the 200 yards from Maidstone Town Centre to the Lidl car park off St Peters Street, dare I suggest you might actually enjoy the exercise?