Maidstone man works with anti-bullying charity Kidscape on 'Real Lives, Real Stories' campaign
06:00, 01 October 2020
As thousands of pupils across Kent settle in to the new school year, a man from Maidstone who was a victim of childhood bullying, is sharing his story to urge young people not to suffer in silence.
Ben White from Teston was physically and verbally bullied during his time at secondary school.
Listen to Ben's story here
He was mimicked for the way he ran, punched in the stomach on a daily basis, and often had his lunch stolen.
The bullying had a huge impact on his mental health as a teenager and did not stop until he left school.
Now 24, and in a much happier place, Mr White is working with anti-bullying charity Kidscape on its latest campaign, 'Real Lives, Real Stories' to encourage others to speak out against bullies.
Mr White who works for Ditton Parish Council said: "I was always quite a shy child and because I didn't fit into the crowd, I was a victim of bullying.
"There were times when I would be eating my lunch with the money my mum gave me and it would be knocked out of my hand.
"Either that or they would intimidate me so much I would end up giving it away so I didn't eat until I got home from school.
"On the way to lessons sometimes I would walk past these same two people and one of them would grab me while the other threw punches into my stomach."
Despite the constant bruises Mr White says it was the verbal bullying that hurt the most because it was visible to those around him.
He added: "Few people saw the physical bullying, so I could deal with it more easily.
"The verbal bullying started this one time when I was running across the playground and someone started making animal noises at me.
"When I asked why he said 'oh you run like a goose'.
"I laughed it off to begin with but those noises kept happening and then he got all his friends to do it and once everyone clocked on, the whole school started joining in.
"People would come and find me on my lunch breaks just to intimidate me so I felt really alone."
At the time it was hard to see an end to his problems, a similar reality so many young people still face today.
By joining Kidscape, a charity that works with schools to prevent bullying, he hopes to give young people the tools they need to use their voice.
"I also hope by sharing my experience the pain I went through will hit home with some of the people I went to school with..."
He said: "I didn't want to speak to my parents but looking back I wish I did.
"I would say to anyone, if you have any problems, speak out.
"Bullying is a fight people don't see and that's because people don't speak. By talking you're taking the power away from the bullies and that's what we need to do.
"Without a loving family, who knows what could have been. I owe my thanks to them because in those times when I felt so alone, I still felt loved."
He added: "There are a number of teachers that would have seen the bullying, especially the verbal side of things.
"The reason I think they didn't act on it was because it was just another thing for them to do, or maybe they didn't know what to do because there wasn't enough in school to tackle bullying at the time.
"We didn't have talks or anything like that which is why I'm so grateful to be working with Kidscape now because it really does want to help."
Not a day goes by where Mr White doesn't think about those harrowing days but now he tries to turn the negative memories into something positive.
When he left school he took up fitness to boost his physical and mental wellbeing. He also started running marathons to show the people who laughed at the way he ran it wasn't going to stop him.
He took up journalism to help find his voice and even started boxing as a way of showing he is no longer fearful.
He added: "I also hope by sharing my experience the pain I went through will hit home with some of the people I went to school with.
"I don't wish bad on them at all, I just want them to know so when their children grow up they don't become the people their parents once were."
Mr White hopes one day he will be able to return to the secondary school, he doesn't wish to name, to give a talk to the current pupils.
For more information on Kidscape and its 'Real Lives, Real Stories' initiative, click here.
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