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'All my friends are having babies but I don't want to bring kids into this awful world'

05:00, 28 November 2022

updated: 08:03, 02 December 2022

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Turning 30 is such a milestone. The closer you are to it the more you start evaluating your life.

I am two years away and although I am not fazed I do find myself at a weird in between point.

Our columnist is not keen on having a baby
Our columnist is not keen on having a baby

2022 has been the year of weddings, with three already booked in for next year and one the year after.

It seems I am now at the age where everyone is getting married, and half of my wage packet is going towards going along.

Many friends who have been in shorter relationships than I are getting married, but it doesn’t really bother me.

I am not desperate to take my partner's surname (double barrelled is as far as I will go), I don’t want to spend £20k (at least) on one day when I could use that money to finally get a porch and decorate the house and I don’t want to invite people just to avoid arguments. I just can’t be bothered.

Children are another pressing thought. Half of my friendship group have babies, with at least two more wanting them soon.

I have never entertained the thought of children in my 20s and the closer I get to 30 I still can’t imagine my life with them.

With the world burning, costs going up and a government that makes life difficult for anyone who aren’t in their circles, do I really want to bring something I love and care about most into this awful place?

I now dread get togethers if the babies are invited. I am happy for them, but I don’t want to spend my free time and time with my friends talking about or being around children, because if I did, I would probably just have my own.

I do feel weird that I am not desperate for these things; wondering whether people judge me or think my partner and I are not committed to one another. We have a house and a dog and I am very content with that.

Times and people have changed and I feel like all these things are tick box exercises for couples going through the motions of how they expect a relationship should progress.

Write in to Confessions of a 20-something anonymously by emailing opinion@thekmgroup.co.uk with 'Confessions' in the subject line

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