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Opinion: 'Where have manners gone? I was blasted as sexist for holding door open for woman but increasingly politeness goes ignored'

05:00, 01 March 2023

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‘Manners maketh man’… and women, and in particular, children.

So, whatever other woke nonsense we willingly adopt, or begrudgingly accept, we must, at all costs, maintain good manners.

What has happened to manners? Stock picture
What has happened to manners? Stock picture

I walked through a door at a sports club and held it open for the woman walking behind me, at least at this stage I thought it was a woman, I later realised it was a complete harridan.

She proceeded to abuse me rudely, and roundly, as she claimed my actions proved I had made assumptions about her relating to her sex.

My embarrassment led me to apologise at first, though for what I’m not sure, but as she continued to berate me my emotion switched to bewilderment and then consternation.

After listening to her nonsense for some considerable time I took advantage of a pause in the diatribe to inform her in no uncertain terms I would hold a door open for a woman, an elderly person, a child or indeed any other human being to avoid it smashing into them. I perhaps overdid my explanation by adding I would also have held it open for a dog, but certainly wouldn’t bother holding a door open for her again.

Sadly I realised I was in danger of sinking to her level and forgetting my mantra that there is no excuse for forgetting your manners, despite strongly believing her correct response to my action should have been simply two words – thank you.

'In an age where all five year olds seem adept with all manner of electronic devices it makes me question whether society is moving forward if they haven’t been armed with more basic skills...'

This is clearly an extreme case, and raises issues beyond those of just manners, but increasingly I am dismayed to witness acts of goodwill going unacknowledged without so much as a by your leave, particularly by youngsters.

Saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’ and ‘I’m sorry’ are some of the simplest, but I would argue most important, things to teach and must be taught at home. All parents have a duty to install civility into their offspring at an early age and it should not be a responsibility passed off to schools.

The last time I visited a school I was surprised to see a member of staff trying to teach several children how to use a knife and fork. When I mentioned this later I was told it’s not unusual for new starters not to have these skills these days and I might be surprised at how many were not properly toilet trained either.

In an age where all five year olds seem adept with all manner of electronic devices it does make me question whether society is really moving forward if the same children haven’t been armed with more basic skills.

The saying I started with dates back nearly 700 years but it is as true today as ever it was and I sincerely hope good manners can continue to be one of the earliest lessons parents teach their children - it will equip them for the rest of their lives.

Have you experienced bad manners or been shocked by the lack of gratitude? Email opinion@thekmgroup.co.uk

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