Nothing says it's coming home this World Cup quite like a riot van outside Society Room Wetherspoon in Maidstone
10:31, 28 November 2022
updated: 13:56, 30 November 2022
Nothing says it's coming home quite like the sight of a riot van parked outside 'Spoons at 20 to one on a Monday.
Rain-drenched football fans still in their work gear march along the high street, hunched down to shelter from the wintry chill.
Their destination was the already-packed glass-clad beer palace, soggy with drizzle, doors clouded with fag smoke and watermelon scented vape puffs.
Police have warned them to be on their best behaviour and, in a stroke of PR genius chose 23 minutes before kick-off to send out a press release announcing 18 people had been charged following violent scenes in the centre of Maidstone after last year's Euros final.
Before that far-too-late-in-the-day evening encounter with Italy, fans had poured into London. Leicester Square is usually full of awestruck tourists bumping into each other and taking bad photographs. On July 11, 2021, a man in a bucket hat publicly snorted cocaine and shoved a flare, well, enough of that...
But surely there wouldn't be repeats of those scenes following a group stage game against Iran on a freezing lunchtime in mid November?
If life's taught me one thing it's never to underestimate the extraordinary frenzy young men can whip themselves into when confronted with pints and Harry Kane.
Even if Vlad went nuclear and we had to resort to propping up a wireless radio in the crumbling doorway of a bombed out underground station to listen in to an England game played inside some vast lead-lined dome, someone would still end up headbutting a police horse.
But maybe, just maybe, the combination of frigid climes, rising pint prices and a less-than-enthusiastic build up had the impact armoured police officers could only have dreamt of last summer.
A group stage goalfest has become par for the course for this young England side. A 6-2 thrashing raised dampened spirits but perhaps the Three Lions faithful were saving themselves for Friday evening's certain steam-rolling of the USA?
Thankfully – at least for the assembled authorities that welcomed the hordes to a damp town centre – it wasn't to be. A snore draw is certainly not enough to get Fosters-fuelled sixth-formers swinging from lamp posts.
On Monday afternoon boozed-up fans stumbled out of pubs and began chanting. But they were vastly outnumbered by those who had only indulged in hot chocolate and were keen to get home to watch Pointless.
On Friday evening most were already asleep by the final whistle.
Maybe an all-to-play-for home nations clash with Wales will finally get the party started?
Update: It didn't, there's always Sunday night's knock-out clash with Senegal.
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