Does anyone want a dog? It’s not that I don’t love her but the bloody mutt drives me nuts at times.

But even I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the mad fur-ball the other day when, believe me, she was as sick as a dog for hours.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, it was shooting out in torrents from both ends.

The only reason I share this horrific information with you is you might be able to avoid your own four-legged friend suffering a similar fate.

The SD Hound, much like her owner, is fortunate to be blessed with a cast iron constitution and can usually eat any amount of rubbish without having the slightest effect.

Unfortunately I think there is very little doubt what laid the poor dog so low at the weekend.

As a special treat I’d driven to the seaside and took a leisurely stroll on the beach, which is probably her favourite treat.

As an avowed water lover she can’t help herself and, as usual, dashed into the waves and immediately started swimming along as I padded along the sand. After a little while this naturally developed into her usual game as I threw a ball for her to swim out and collect.

But, I think this is where the damage was done as it always involves her swallowing a certain amount of seawater.

Now, I obviously can’t say for sure what horrors the water contained but I don’t think there is any doubt she consumed enough polluted water to make her seriously unwell.

I’ve heard the horror stories about the quantity of raw sewage being pumped directly into the sea all round the Kent coast but wasn’t aware of any warnings for the weekend.

When I checked the water companies couldn’t guarantee there hadn’t been sewage released.

They could confirm no specific warnings had been issued but, at the same time, couldn’t confirm the level of pollution.

Had I actually had the opportunity to speak to someone in person I would no doubt have faced the usual excuses – an antiquated sewage system, a lack of investment over decades, the need to pay shareholders hefty dividends.

Whatever it was I have to admit I’m glad it wasn’t me taking to the water on this occasion and I’m now seriously considering selling my sea kayak.