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Secret Drinker reviews the Chequers Inn, the Smarden pub with links to Paul Hollywood

04:52, 28 April 2023

updated: 08:44, 05 May 2023

I’m lucky as I can’t remember when I got married, if anyone asks I’ve got no idea what the date was, or even which year?

The reason I’m fortunate is that Mrs SD hasn’t got a clue either and therefore neither of us is bothered and I escape getting any grief.

Approaching from the road in front, the outside of The Chequers Inn, Smarden, with its white weatherboards and traditional pub signs, hasn’t changed in many years
Approaching from the road in front, the outside of The Chequers Inn, Smarden, with its white weatherboards and traditional pub signs, hasn’t changed in many years
The dining room on the right hand side of the pub, like the bar to the left, has been lightened up considerably
The dining room on the right hand side of the pub, like the bar to the left, has been lightened up considerably

But, the one thing we both remember fondly is the pub I booked for a wedding breakfast and a darned good session afterwards.

So, returning to The Chequers in Smarden after all these years (however many it’s been!) was always likely to be an interesting experience. Since that fateful day, probably 2003ish, the only other mention I’ve seen of the place linked a certain celebrity baker to his wooing of the landlady.

Outside the fantastic little garden with tables and chairs overlooking a lovely pond appeared identical, although the gate to the car park has definitely been replaced.

The beams and all the furniture have been lightened considerably and it’s made a huge difference to the main bar
The beams and all the furniture have been lightened considerably and it’s made a huge difference to the main bar

Walking back round the front of this 14th century coaching inn, with its traditional white weatherboards, windows and old pub sign looks exactly as I remember it – I suspect there’s a listing which means they can’t be changed.

However, inside it’s a completely different story and there’s obviously been a concerted effort to lighten, brighten and uplift everything about this wonderful old building.

The black beams are no more, replaced by lighter brown ones, the lighting itself is much better and everything feels fresher and more modern, in a good way.

It’s for patrons only but you certainly can’t miss the sign to the car park
It’s for patrons only but you certainly can’t miss the sign to the car park
Just beyond the freshly tarmaced car park there is a great little pub garden with plenty of tables and chairs
Just beyond the freshly tarmaced car park there is a great little pub garden with plenty of tables and chairs

The decoration has a distinctly heraldic theme, suits of armour, knights on horseback, colourful shields, that sort of thing – there may have been a smattering previously but I certainly don’t remember this level.

There’s no room for anything as tacky as darts, pool, a jukebox or anything like that but there was background music playing at a decent level and we were treated to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Drinks wise, something happened for the first time in our married life, Mrs SD ordered half a lager (that’s not the first though) – the fact that she downed her whole drink before I even managed a sip of mine made me wonder if it was too late for an annulment!

It might have been served in a London Pride glass, but this was definitely Wadworth’s 4% crisp, golden ale and it was brilliant
It might have been served in a London Pride glass, but this was definitely Wadworth’s 4% crisp, golden ale and it was brilliant

When I finally sampled my pint of 4% Horizon from the Wadworth Brewery in Wiltshire I wasn’t disappointed. The only other bloke in the pub, a guy called Chris, proclaimed this crisp golden ale is ‘like an angel crying on your tongue’, high praise indeed. I might not go quite as biblical but I’m more than happy to admit it is an absolute belter.

Having inhaled half a Pravha, Er Indoors returned to type and chose a large Sav Blanc, as well as requesting a packet of plain crisps.

I went for salt and vinegar and shifted across to a pint of Wainwright, from Lancashire’s Thwaites Brewery (apparently named in honour of a fell-walker) – this wasn’t a bad pint but it was lighter and had less taste to it than the Horizon.

We weren’t eating on this occasion but this is the door to the kitchen – last time we were in the food was good, but it was a couple of decades ago so maybe it’s time to dine here again
We weren’t eating on this occasion but this is the door to the kitchen – last time we were in the food was good, but it was a couple of decades ago so maybe it’s time to dine here again

With fresh drinks in hand our attention passed to observing village life from the front window of the pub, not a game we played last time we were in but it was interesting to see kids making their way home from school, walkers with a whole range of mutts and several workmen taking an early bath, not to mention a few mini-traffic jams.

It might be bustling out front but at the back in the garden, which feels a little like a small haven for nature, it is idyllically quiet.

Much here hasn’t changed, the stripped floorboards meeting the stone floor almost seamlessly, the open fires and the log burner, the position of the main bar and the dining room.

Chris took a little time off from explaining matters to his other half to give me a little advice on the beer: “It’s like an angel crying on your tongue”, was his view
Chris took a little time off from explaining matters to his other half to give me a little advice on the beer: “It’s like an angel crying on your tongue”, was his view

But, the extra dining room at the back, which I remember had large glass windows, where we ate our wedding breakfast, has disappeared and been converted into two further guest rooms – a sign, I suspect, of the times with less diners and parties but more folks splashing out on a one-off night-time stay.

The toilets were clean and fresh, although the corridor to get to them was a work in progress and there was a fellow working hard to strip back a pine door as we left.

In agreement on all things, apart from speed drinking lager, Mrs SD and I reckoned we made the right decision all those years ago and revisiting The Chequers was just another decision she decided I’ve got right.

Even the toilet roll holder has been granted a knighthood
Even the toilet roll holder has been granted a knighthood
Er Indoors rated these ‘crisps made by farmers’ as some of the best she’s had but I’d rather go traditional – give me Walkers every time
Er Indoors rated these ‘crisps made by farmers’ as some of the best she’s had but I’d rather go traditional – give me Walkers every time

Chequers Inn, Smarden, Ashford TN27 8QA

Decor: I think the phrase is, ‘I love what they’ve done with the place’. Lighter, brighter and even better, none of the tradition has been lost but the new décor is fantastic. *****

Drink: Both the beers on tap were very similar, both golden ales, one at 4% and one at 4.1%. I don’t know about ‘angel tears’ but the Horizon was one of the best pints I’ve had for a long time. ****

Price: Both pints cost £5.10, half a Pravha was £2.60 and a large Sauvignon Blanc was £8.50. The crisps might be rated by Mrs SD but they were £1.20 a packet. **

Staff: Our barmaid delivered a lovely, friendly greeting and was more than happy to chat. If felt as if visitors receive an equally pleasant service as regulars. ****

Both the beers on tap were very decent but personally I preferred Wadworth’s Horizon, although Thwaites Wainwright wasn’t a bad drop either.
Both the beers on tap were very decent but personally I preferred Wadworth’s Horizon, although Thwaites Wainwright wasn’t a bad drop either.

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