The lights were on but no-one was home, I walked around the empty Elephants Head in Gravesend calling out but it was clearly deserted and I felt it would be rude to serve myself.

I took a wander round the back and even watched a bit of boat racing on the telly but, despite waiting in vain, still no-one showed.

I decided to kill a little time by answering the call of nature and it was only as I walked out of the gents, which I noted was equipped with an all-seeing eye, I literally bumped into the barmaid.

She too had been visiting the facilities so we made our way back to the bar together where she kindly offered to pour me a drink.

Looking along the pumps, I chose a pint of Camden Pale Ale and when I asked how much it was she said she thought all pints were a fiver.

Music was playing gently in the background but the TV screens were all silently showing super-sized yachts zipping over the waves so I decided to give the barmaid my full attention.

The barmaid is relatively new to the job but she was really helpful, friendly and very happy to chat.

We talked a little about the pub, its owner and Gravesend but we swiftly moved further afield and were soon discussing the land of her birth in some detail.

We happily chatted for at least three quarters of an hour about the incredible diversity India has to offer, paying particular attention to the rich culture of the state of Punjab and its friendly, welcoming people.

I was perfectly happy just sat at the bar on my faux leather stool chatting and was well down a second pint of 4.5% Cobra before we were joined by anyone else in the pub. Although I should say the barmaid had since discovered all pints were not priced at £5 and the Cobra was 50p more expensive.

The new guests had also entered through the side door, as there’s apparently a small sign in the window at the front kindly asking you not to use the entrance I came in through – I’d only spotted a sign for the Pentecostal Church, but must have missed that one and walked straight through the open door with its fluttering fly screen.

The latest punter, who chose himself a pint of Fosters, was I quickly discovered, another visitor to the area, a Villa supporter from Birmingham who was here to catch up with a female relative.

Having been dragged away from tales of north west India I should probably share a little more information about the Elephants Head free house.

It’s a large, open-plan pub with many of the amenities you might expect to find – a pool table, on which the balls were surprisingly already racked, two well-cared for dartboards, with a very healthy looking trophy shelf above them, a jukebox, several fruit machines and plenty of TV screens.

There is also a large covered, outdoor area at the back with a number of picnic tables which I’d also discovered in my search for signs of life when I first came in.

I’m sure this area, with a tropical island scene painted on one wall is usually the domain of the pub’s smoking fraternity but I did also notice there are two picnic tables positioned on an area of artificial turf at the front of the pub – strange given the sign asking people not to use this door.

The pub doesn’t do food as such but there’s very clearly a strong relationship with the Indian restaurant next door as its menu was available behind the bar and I was free to order anything I wanted.

Whether this has always been the case or is something which has developed since the barmaid started at the pub (she previously waited tables next door) I don’t know.

Everywhere within the Elephants Head is well maintained and, I noticed remarkably well covered by CCTV, and that includes the sweet-smelling gents, although I was assured views from here do not appear on the screen that’s clearly visible behind the bar.

It was certainly quiet in Ellies Bar but that’s to be expected for an early afternoon visit during the week and my excellent hostess assured me it gets an awfully lot busier at other times.

THE ELEPHANTS HEAD, 106 LONDON ROAD, NORTHFLEET, GRAVESEND DA11 9LZ

Décor: It has a single large bar area with plenty of open floor space and the furniture and fittings are all in reasonable order. There’s wood panelling around the walls and a strong wooden bar, with leather-look stools surrounding it. ***

Drink: Other than the Camden there were no ales available on tap but there was Guinness and a reasonable selection of lagers. ***

Price: The Camden Pale Ale was very reasonably priced at £5 but the Cobra lager was, we later discovered, £5.50. If you felt the Fosters route was okay then this would cost you £4.20, so not a fiver either. ***

Staff: Attentive, efficient and a pleasure to meet. She may be fairly new to the job but she is already an asset to this free house on the border of Gravesend and Northfleet. ****

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