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Secret Drinker reviews the Dartford Sports Bar

17:18, 11 July 2024

updated: 06:50, 12 July 2024

Walking through Dartford on a late Wednesday afternoon I wasn’t sure what I might find.

I’d have liked to try the Hufflers Arms, not least because it must be a unique pub name, but it was locked up tight.

Stretching some distance down Spital Street, the front of Dartford Sports Bar (The Big D) makes it fairly obvious what you’re likely to find inside
Stretching some distance down Spital Street, the front of Dartford Sports Bar (The Big D) makes it fairly obvious what you’re likely to find inside

The Growler was another no-go zone and the local Wetherspoon, the Flying Boat, was dominated by hi-vis so I walked past this one too.

When I reached the Dartford Sports Bar, stretching down Spital Street, I could see movement inside so decided this was the place for me.

I walked past the Danny Dyer lookalike sitting on a small stool in a reception-style area on the left, not realising at this stage this was the manager Chris, and was greeted by barmaid Katie.

I assume these booths will be packed to overflowing for the final on Sunday
I assume these booths will be packed to overflowing for the final on Sunday
A view of the back of the pub, taken from the courtyard garden
A view of the back of the pub, taken from the courtyard garden

She was quickly into action and when I asked for a pint of the best beer in the establishment she immediately reached for a Cruzcampo.

Following my entrance I was, far too swiftly for my liking, approached by a Dartfordian in a grey tracksuit, with twin white stripes, and offered a hand to shake. I did take the offered hand but found shaking him a little more tricky.

Not that I don’t appreciate friendly folk but he was clearly ‘well-settled’ and I couldn’t understand a word of what he was slurring.

This being a sports bar it’s not surprising there are TV screens in every orifice available but they were showing women’s cricket and vintage darts games so, not surprisingly, no-one was paying the slightest attention to them.

I do like an unusual pub name and would have stopped for a pint at the Hufflers Arms if it had been open
I do like an unusual pub name and would have stopped for a pint at the Hufflers Arms if it had been open
The Growler could easily have dragged me through the door, but sadly the Tap Room was locked up tight
The Growler could easily have dragged me through the door, but sadly the Tap Room was locked up tight

Having shaken the bloke in the tracksuit I was able to take in my surroundings and you don’t need to look far beyond the modern sports bar paraphernalia to find signs of historical touches which prove there’s been a pub on this site for centuries. Some of the wood panelling and several other elements of the staircases must date back hundreds of years.

Katie had now come out front and was being educated by Chris, and a local called Andy, on both the subject of football and politics which she seemed to accept almost as it was part of her training for the job.

I was already confident how England would perform and knew what the election result was, so took a wander out back at this point to view the courtyard garden.

A pint of Cruzcampo will set you back £5.60 and a packet of crisps a further £1.10
A pint of Cruzcampo will set you back £5.60 and a packet of crisps a further £1.10
The courtyard garden was still bedecked in flags – who’d have thought England would still be in Germany after the way we started?
The courtyard garden was still bedecked in flags – who’d have thought England would still be in Germany after the way we started?

This is made up of a whole series of separate booths, each, of course, equipped with its own TV screen. There’s plenty of false grass around and the benches all looked extremely comfortable.

There’s CCTV absolutely everywhere, and I mean everywhere – even the urinals haven’t escaped a beady eye!

Actually, on the subject of loos, they were well-maintained and very fresh, there was something about them that reminded of those old school facilities where you received a splash of cologne and were then expected to leave a tip. Maybe it was the dark wood and warm lighting above the sinks or maybe it was the tray containing a single penny alongside the hand drier?

Back in the bar, purely for the purposes of research you understand, I moved on to a pint of Landlord from Timothy Taylor and it was a very decent example.

Big Brother’s (well, the CCTV anyway) watching you the whole time, even here at the urinal
Big Brother’s (well, the CCTV anyway) watching you the whole time, even here at the urinal
Spend a penny – this tray was located in the gents but I can’t imagine too many people choose to leave a tip
Spend a penny – this tray was located in the gents but I can’t imagine too many people choose to leave a tip

There was a group of young lads who taken over the pool table and had even brought their own cues – the competition looked fierce. There are two modern fruit machines, a stack of trendy lightbulbs attached to brass piping and a few stunning architectural features.

The three-way chat had moved on from politics and footie to Katie falling asleep in the sun, but Chris was still spending much of his time glued to his phone.

However, he did break long enough to impart a few historical facts about the pub and said it’s mentioned in the Doomsday Book (just out of interest, I wonder how many pubs claim to be mentioned in this ancient tome?). He said the creaky staircase leading to the loos and part of the accommodation area upstairs remain untouched due to the listing on the building.

I’d shifted across from the lager to try a pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord and can report is was a very decent example
I’d shifted across from the lager to try a pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord and can report is was a very decent example
The lads on the pool table had made an early start and each frame was being keenly contested
The lads on the pool table had made an early start and each frame was being keenly contested

Andy, the local, had decided it was time for him to depart but not before he said: “I’m going to say one more thing” for the 27th time.

A couple of the bar staff walked in for a drink and I couldn’t help reflecting a pub must be doing something right when its employees choose to visit on their day off.

Let’s be clear, this is very much a sports bar and very much the sort of place you’ll want to visit should there be a big game on. But, there is also a good deal more to it than that and the welcome from both Chris and Katie was warm and heartfelt. In the end, I felt pleased I’d had to walk on past a few other places to find the Dartford Sports Bar.

Much of this Grade Listed property has been modernised, but you can still see the history with this wood panelling
Much of this Grade Listed property has been modernised, but you can still see the history with this wood panelling

THE DARTFORD SPORTS BAR, 13 SPITAL STREET, DARTFORD DA1 2DJ

Decor: Modern with an abundance of TV screens with the priority on groups who want to watch sports (what it says on the tin) but there are some great old touches too. ****

Drink: Katie’s Cruzcampo selection was absolutely fine and she poured it well. But, I think the well-kept Timothy Taylor was better. Outside of this, the choice is very much as you’d expect. ***

Price: The TT Landlord was a very reasonable £4.20 and the crisps not at all bad at £1.10. If you go for the recommended Cruz it will be £5.60, the same price as a pint of Madri. ***

Staff: Upbeat and cheery, ready to chat and a pleasure to meet, both Katie and Chris are great. Katie claims she’s Dartford’s best barmaid but I don’t really have the experience to comment. *****

Today’s specials were both the same price and didn’t differ greatly – if you like a steak sandwich this place is for you
Today’s specials were both the same price and didn’t differ greatly – if you like a steak sandwich this place is for you
It was obviously fairly quiet at this time on a Wednesday afternoon but this is a big place and there are plenty of tables and chairs for busier times, particularly for those big sporting occasions like this Sunday
It was obviously fairly quiet at this time on a Wednesday afternoon but this is a big place and there are plenty of tables and chairs for busier times, particularly for those big sporting occasions like this Sunday

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